Monday, September 8, 2008

That Speech was Pure Torture

As I tuned into the RNC and watched John McCain give his account of those dark days of his Vietnam imprisonment, I found my self-captivated, and overcome with respect for the man (which was obviously the point). But it made me think back to 4 years ago when another Vietnam Vet. was running for office. I wonder why it is that John Kerry wasn’t treated with the same respect, and awe with which the conservatives seem to carry McCain.

Though not as tragic, Kerry’s story was no less courageous and his service, no less admirable. Did the conservatives choose to acknowledge that while the service of Sen. Kerry is honorable his ideas might not be good for the country’s direction. No, the conservatives somehow deemed it appropriate to attack his service record.

Politics can be a funny world. Sometimes it's just down-right hilarious:

In the world of politics…one Vietnam Vet is a coward and a liar, while the other is Jesus of Phoenix, Arizona.

In the world of politics…Sarah Palin is the family values candidate even though you need an abacus to keep track of her daughter’s illegitimate children.

In the world of politics…it’s ok to call someone else “elitist” when you can’t even remember how many homes you own. (Here’s a clue, when you have to pluralize home, you’re probably the elitist).

In the world of politics…the National Enquire and Us Weekly are doing all the reporting work, while the New York Times sit on its hands.

In the world of politics…you can claim that YOU support the troops even though you’d find more body armor at the Source Awards than in Iraq.

In the world of politics…cheating on your wife is a reprehensible act which should discredit your entire political career and any views you once had. Except when you marry the woman you’re cheating with, and then god’s cool with it.

In the world of politics…the constitution is outdated because it was written pre 9/11, but your religion, based on a book written thousands of years ago, through second hand accounts, translated time and time over, is still relevant as ever.

In the world of politics…it’s ok to claim that you’re the party of change when you’ve been in control for 8 years and we’ve seen more change in Janet Jackson’s waist-line.

In the world of politics…being a senator for only two years isn’t enough experience, but being the Barney Fife of Alaska is.

In the world of politics…you can mess with and ignore the constitution all you want except, when it comes to the second amendment, mostly because if you try, someone will shoot you. Oh, and also for queers. You can change it because you don’t think queers should have the same rights you do.

In the world of politics…you can claim to be the party of fiscal responsibility even though your wife goes onstage to introduce you wearing $36,000 worth of jewelry. (But to be fair, if you break it down, that’s only $1000 for every black Delegate at the convention).

In the world of politics…candidates’ children should be off limit’s to discussion, even when the only people discussing it, are the candidates who keep discussing how candidates’ children should be off limit’s to discussion.

In the world of politics…it’s ok to accuse your opponent of not providing any specifics about how to fix the country, and then giving a speech, in which you provide no specifics about how to fix the country. Instead you can just rely on your old war stories.

Oh, how hilarious!

1 comment:

Stephanie said...

Your best one yet. NICE!